Constipation Pushups

We are together in a circle, at the end of a training session. 20+ judokas, all sweating and tired and to some degree ready to crash. "Pushups!" Sensei shouted, "We go in a circle, with Anderson counting 10, and then Shahirah, and then Cedric, and Chong, and so on. 100 pushups!"

Shahirah did some quick maths. "Setiap orang 10 ... kami berhenti dengan Sensei la!"

I looked around and counted 10 people. Yes. The 90th to the 100th was Sensei's. Anderson started counting.

Judo pushups aren't like the normal ones you get in BB, or the very laughable ones the girls in GB do. They develop the glutes and broaden the shoulders, and they are the reason all judokas have well defined upper bodies.

But whatever. So there we were, doing pushups, when Gan starts making this odd urhh urhh urhh sounds. They got louder and louder, and by the time we reached the 50s it was sounding very much like an old man with constipation.

"Oi!" Sensei shouted. "We see you people in Waterfront ... acting so macho with your girlfriend ... and then you come here and what do you get?"

"Siapa?" Shahirah asked. I jerked my head in Gan's direction - we usually saw him and his girlfriend in Judo competitions. She supporting him, of course.

Shahirah collapsed in laughter.

By the 60s I found it difficult to lift my arms above my head. By the 80s they didn't feel like arms. Wooden blocks, probably. Gan's cries grew louder and louder with every push.

Finally Sensei! The last 10! Oh my kingdom for the end of this torture! I swear I could hear the angels singing!

"1! 2! 3! 4! 5! Eh?" Sensei paused. "What number already? Forgot! Nevermind ... 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! ...!"

And Gan's constipation cries now had a defeated edge to them.