Well here I am, one month into the new year, and I have done absolutely nothing with my life. I am blocked. Jamned up like a photocopier on a bad hair day. If I were standing outside in the rain and looking in to the residual glow of my life, I would see one boy with his hands in his pockets, knee-deep and stuck in a large cesspool of misshapen insecurities. Just past this side of the waterfall dear, and you're good to go, but you just have to get past that first whirlpool ...
We celebrate two new years every year here in Kuching, simply because we're Chinese and when you're Chinese you never want to lose out on anything. Especially if anything includes food. So I'm not only sitting here and stuck with this Godawful block, but I'm also sitting here feeling fat after eating too much over the holidays. I think it was two years ago that I felt like a diabetic shrimp after visiting with my Church youth ... but - wait where was I? Oh yes. Diabetic shrimp. Quite a delectable phrase, considering shrimps don't come with kidneys ... what? You mean I wasn't talking about that before? Then what was I talking about?
Welcome to the cesspool, folks.
This isn't the first time it's happened. I had a huge block after the SPM too, and I whittled away 4-5 months doing absolutely nothing more than typing and eating and sleeping and chores. Oh yes, chores. I think my parents think that I'm God's gift to smelly dogs, and they make me bathe mine twice a week. Because the dog stinks at about that frequency. I'd have never gotten a dog if I actually knew about the body odour. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.
I think my main problem right now is a lack of a schedule. I write, code and design best when I'm busy with schoolwork, and that in itself is a remarkably daft thing to do, seeing as there just isn't enough time to do everything all at the same time when you're hurrying for assignments and such. I suck. I'll admit it. I suck.
I've never wanted to be in school as much as I do now.
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