Friggin Happy.

9.99 Pounds. 70 Ringgit. Do you actually believe that?

Sunday was a happy, happy day. First there was church, where we talked about prayer and a side project - a prayer notebook, keeping track of what your prayers are and how God answers them (Yes, No, Wait). It's kinda cool - and something i've not thought about at all. He has answered my prayers before, but without writing it down i can't remember the incidences. Hmm!

After that we had youth, where a game of 'Honey, i Love you, can you please, please smile?' was played. You basically go up to a person (not necessarily of the opposite sex), say the words "Do you love me?" (this was a variation by Eric) and then try your best to make the person either laugh or twitch into a smile. We tricked Jason into laughing because he came late ("eh? HAAHHAAHAH. What?") after which he proposed to Godwinna and made her screw her face up in silent mirth. I didn't really have to do anything - Joanna covered her face with a jacket the instant i got down of my knees in front of her. Hehe.

And then there was Judo! Oh, blessed honey of a million bees! I got my grubby paws on this:


Bought in the UK by Alvin for 9.99 pounds! 70 Ringgit for a such a damn thin valuable book. No wonder i couldn't find it anywhere in Malaysia, even in 'biggest-bookstore-eva' Borders. Hmmph! Daft daft daft. But the techniques there are amazing! Whoever knew Tenri Osotogari added such an effective wrist turn! *rubs hands together eagerly*

I can't help it. Jump jump with happiness.

Then i injured my foot trying a Sasai on Phing Zhou. Ehehh. Note to self: work on Sasai. Your traditional throw sucks.Keep using a variation and this is what you get.

I didn't get to spar with Douglas, again, though Garrick took a video of me sparring with Chong (36 mb! Dang), and it had a nice osotogari in it (from me).

You know, the rate i'm going, it could really be possible that my Osoto can work in contest now. *sticks tongue out at Horng Eng and her Haraigoshi*

Happy happy happy me.

Que Avis, Malaysia?

I have been meaning to write this post for some time now, but a tiny voice kept on saying, "Make sure you get the writing right. Think first!"

And i did. I thought of what i needed and wanted to say, and how to say it. This post is long in the waiting, and painful to write. But bear with me on this.

2006 has been a bad year for Malaysians. Admit it. We've seen Mahathir go anti Abdullah (proclaiming that Malaysia is a police state - ISA, death in custody - not that it wasn't before, just that the idea that our country is not that rosy hadn't really presented itself in the mainstream since the days of Ops Lallang), we've seen the Inter-Faith Commision breaking down and all discussion about coorperation between the various religions exploding ... We've had politicians in the UMNO general assembly calling Lee Kwan Yew stupid (not that that's bad, but the action in itself is foolish in the face of the old man's cunning) and blaming all the other races for the current problems.

We've had MAS and Proton struggling.

Some of us are feeling oppressed.

We've had statements (Lee Kwan Yew) telling us the painful truth that yes, the Chinese here are being systematically marginalised. Or at least in the name of Bumi rights.

We're being told that Meritocracy is the death of Malays, contrary to common sense.

We're hearing stories of how straight A chinese students who deserve it don't get scholarships, even though they have more than enough co-curricular activities. And then we have heard how Bumis with 7As get Med scholarships overseas.

We're being bombarded with unintelligent remarks by Datuks and MPs, through the mainstream media that is the convenient arm/leg/anus of our political parties.

No more chinese schools are being built, nevermind that Kua Kia Soong keeps tabs and reports that there are no racism there, albeit increasing enrollment by students of other races.

Marina Mahathir writes, or wanted to write, about how national schools are turning her children into 'little racists'.

The foreign press is having a field day sacrificing us. There is a New York Times article about how the Chinese and the Indians are being cheated by the Malays. I can't find it, but i found one worse.

We are told not to celebrate Deepavali with Indian friends.

We have weak leaders.

We want to be taught science and maths in BM, or so we're told.

Our ministers want to control the evolution of the BM language.

And through it all we are getting cynical.

See why this post is hard to write?

I have Malay friends. I admit, i like Malay culture. Their food, their traditions, the beautiful pantun and the wise proverbs taken from nature. Call me brainwashed by Sejarah, whatever. But sometimes i'm scared. Scared that i'll morph into something i'm not, something i never want to be.

I'm scared that i'm turning into a racist.

Me, a Malaysian, proud to be tolerant. Us, Malaysia, proud to be multi-racial.

Where has all the love gone to?



Perhaps my longing to love our country stems from my Sejarah classes. The students of 5S1, (2006) St Thomas's secondary school has had marvelous Sejarah teachers since form 1, making it hard for the lot of us to hate the subject. They were all wonderful storytellers, creating beautiful tapestries of people and places long ago. Of course now we can all get sidetracked into arguing that history is anything but objective, but that's not the point. The point here is that they did their job marvelously. We loved our country. Well, at least before 2006 began to dilute the solid, wonderful picture in our eyes.

And yet, I have friends who gladly admit that they hate the Malays. All Malays. Nevermind if they're called Nazrin or Ahmad or are decent people when you give them a chance. How many great people would i have missed if i were generally prejudiced with all Malays even before i got to know them? Hmm ...

Let's have a scenario. Say there are two great groups of people in a country. One group is the natives, the other we shall call the Others. The natives are poor, the Others are rich. The natives are the majority, the Others are the minority. Now there are two ways to get rid of the economic disparity: one is to lift the natives out of their doldrums, and the other is to deprive the Others so heavily so that wealth is then equally distributed to the majority, ie, the natives. It would seem that the first is the ethical way, the better way, since it would prevent any potentially bloody coup or uprising. But isn't the second way the easier one?

It isn't hard to see what is going on here. When it comes down to the basics, the problem with Malaysia is that the fine line between helping the Bumis and being equal and fair at the same time is getting only thinner.



But we have the NEP! My God the government is doing all that is correct right for the love of my motherland you must understand!

The NEP was introduced when my father was a noob in the working world. Now it is reintroduced again when my father is nearing retiring age. Bumiputera equity is so damn low - i'd actually be happy if it was 80% or higher as ASLI described (nevermind that i think they're wrong). It would mean that the NEP did its job. It would mean that disparity was gone.

Still not convinced? Well.

Tan Sri Khalid Ibrahim on the NEP (the link is a blogger's repost, who gives Tan Sri Khalid's background. Search for Off The Edge for the actual interview):

"What I don't accept is the way NEP was vulgarised in terms of implementation. At the end of the day, I was a player for 30 years and having looked at the end-result of it, the NEP pleases some,. but so many feel so strongly against it.

Let me explain. There are Malays that have benefited from the NEP, but there are a lot of Malays that have been sacrificed by it.

What has happened is, not only have the [bumiputra] figures for [equity participation] declined, the size of disparity between Malays is also high. This means that the idea of positive discrimination to redress imbalances is out, as you have to create other excuses for its continuance".


And in another part, he continues:

"What I am saying is that the NEP has not achieved what it has set out to do, and has instead segmented society. The problem with the NEP in regards to UMNO, is that it is utilized for the existence of the political party.

That is the worst - the wealth of the nation and its future is controlled is by 3,000-4,000 people who decide to select or not select their people, and this is funded through the advantages connected with the NEP. That is what this squabble is all about".

Patrick Teoh struck gold with his Teohlogy section in Off The Edge.

The Malays: 'Never mind lah. Whatever happens, the kerajaan, which will always will always be our majority what, will take care for us lah. We are of the soil.'

The Indians: 'You only go to see them when you are sick or need legal advice, right? Yes. THEY will do for YOU.'

The Chinese: 'Never mind lah. Can make money enough lor. My family in Perth lah. Yours?'

Whatever happens, Malaysia is my country. I don't know how the Malay Dilemma will be solved. I don't know whether Chinese all over the country will stop jumping boat to other, fairer countries that reward you based on your capabilities, and not your skin colour. I do not know how the millions of possible permutations and actions yet to be made will play out, writing history in a swirl of movement and happenings, never reversible.

But what i do know is that you and i have a choice. We can bitterly weep with what is happening, be cynical since 'everyone is doing it'. Or we can make a stand, to not fall and be racially prejudiced and scoff at the inferiority of our country. Through little ways, daily ways.

Malaysia, after all, is in our blood, our thoughts and our soul. And if not in yours, then in mine.