Insert Angsty Post Title Here

I'm sitting at the science canteen, where I'm supposed to be making notes for my biology lecture. Red plastic tabletops, brick walls, F*CK NUS graffiti scrawled in tiny handwriting on the pillar to my right. There's a grey sky overhead, and a cold wind playing about my ankles. Really rare, in humid Singapore.

I'm running on two hours of sleep and a can of coffee. Completed a whole chapter of differentiation last night. Sheer willpower. And I've done most of my schedule for today.

I suppose I should lie here and say that I'm going to blog soon. But that's not true. I've lost the ability to sit down and think thoughts about life, about the world, about my inner universe. And what a rich universe that is! There's this long backlog of ideas, stretching out into the past, and beyond a certain point there's this darkness where I can't remember. I've lost count of the number of times I've told myself: 'oh you've got to blog that', or 'that's an interesting thought, what might that mean? - perhaps write an essay to think about it?' and I never do, and so life goes on, dragging the darkness behind me. Soon I'll have thoughts and I rush to class and the darkness is but a couple hours behind, and all the interesting ideas I have for the day are lost in that fog, forever.

There's this primary school girl now, in her dark blue pinafore walking past. What she's doing in NUS is beyond me. And I wonder at how similar it is to the Malaysian primary school pinafore - and yet how different her life is, for the Singaporean education system is the most bizarre meritocratic system you've ever set your eyes on, with streaming exercises all the way down in primary 4, and your future mapped out for you based on your grades when you're 10 years old.

There you go - that's an interesting thought, all on its own. I wonder if there's anything interesting in there.

*pause*

I better get back to work.

Photolog: Hackerspace